Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Heartfelt Goodbye...

...to a dear, dear old friend, and an enormous thank you to everyone who has visited this little blog and left such cheery comments recently because they really have got me through a rotten week.

No.25 has been a sad, old house this week. On Thursday we said a last goodbye to our furry girl and it was just horrible. The inevitable had been hanging in the air all last, week hence my miserable post and talk of worries and troubles and things. And I'm sorry not to have visited anyone really this week, I'll catch up soon.
Wednesday (yes honestly that was her name - but one chosen by the girl who gave her to me and bless my little moggie she answered to her daft name). Possibly the softest, gentlest, snuggliest cat in the world, she reached the ripe old age of fourteen (and maybe more) enjoying her days sunbathing in the garden, making nests on all my eiderdowns, perfecting the knack of appearing for a stroke the very second I finally got to have a sit down and managing to disrupt every gardening project I ever began.
This dear cat came into my life about 11 years ago when I bought my very first pad, a small ground floor flat in a quiet corner of south-east London, back in the days when I thought I'd have a bash at being a city girl. The owner of Wendsers (and the flat) was moving overseas and wondered if I would take her on. The timing couldn't have been better because I'd been planning to take in a cat as soon as I moved in.

London life didn't suit me at all and it was a really lonely time, but the little cat who trotted along the street to meet me from the train each night, then kept me company watching the telly, curling up on the side of the bath and snuggling at the foot of my bed, made it all bearable.

She came with me on every move after that; back to parents, into our first tiny cottage, from barn to townhouse and eventually to No 25 when she settled into a slower pace of life and was the perfect, perfect first pet for our boys. In all that time she never scratched or lashed out and I've never seen another cat sleep right next to the bird table and completely ignore them. Absolutely not interested.

But now she is gone and the hole she's left is enormous. I'm still catching myself checking on our cat food supplies, seeing if she's settled into her basket or leaving open the sitting room door because she'd got too weak to push it open. But she's at peace now and that makes me feel a bit more comfortable. I miss her terribly but wouldn't have wanted her to be in anymore pain.


So now, whenever I sit on my rickety garden bench and look down the garden, I will feel the gap where she should be but I'll always remember the warmth of her next to me, the constant purr and the comfort of the best cat I've ever known.

68 comments:

Victoria said...

I cried reading this.

I'm sorry for your loss :(

xxxx

Pomona said...

Oh so did I! I am so sorry that you are having such sad times. It is so difficult to adjust - but you are right about the memories - that is what will sustain you.

Pomona x

heidi said...

i am so sorry.
isnt it just the hardest thing to deal with.
but she is still with you & will be watching you sitting on your garden bench.
take care. x

Jess said...

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I lost my super kitty Poppy in August, she was 19. I share your sadness. And know exactly how you feel.

Lyn said...

Oh I am so sorry. I still miss my Bob who died last year but as you say it's not fair if they are in pain. I love my cats as children and I know how you feel. She can chase butterflies with Bob now!
Love and Hugs
Lyn
xxx

LittleAngel said...

I am sorry to hear your news..:(

Sally said...

I'm so sorry you lost Wednesday. You gave her the perfect cat life and one day that will be a comfort to you.... take care x

LittleGem said...

So sorry to hear your sad news Steph, but what a lovely post to remember her by xx

KC'sCourt! said...

So sorry to hear the news. She will be always remembered as that perfect friend, she was meant to be your perfect friend.

Elisa said...

You don't know me, I came across your blog recently and now check it often. I'm really sorry for your loss. We have an 11 year old cat who is a huge part of our lives, and we dread the day when she leaves us :(

Serenata said...

((hugs)) Steph, you wrote a lovely tribute to a fantastic loving and special pet. They do touch our hearts don't they. Thinking of you all.

MelMel said...

That is so sad.....:>(

My kitty is really helping me thru a tough time....they are special listeners, when ppl don't want to hear..
x

Hen said...

Oh Steph, I'm sitting here all teary because to lose a beloved pet is just horrendous. I had to have my cat put down when I was in my teens, it was heart breaking and I can't even begin to think of the day when our current furry friends go. I'm so sorry, Steph, I know nothing I say will make it better but like you say, Wednesday is in a happy place now. It's wonderful that she gave you so many years of lovely companionship and it sounds as if you made her a very happy girl.
Take care.
Hen xxx

BERTIE x said...

Hello Steph, I'm so sorry for your sad loss. A big hug to you.
Bertie x

Jenny said...

I'm sorry too that you have had to say goodbye to such a beautiful cat. We never have them in our lives long enough do we. Treasure your happy memories and remember that you always did what was best for her.

Anonymous said...

I was so sorry to hear of your sad loss. Your story of Wednesday was so touching I felt really teary reading it.
These little furry friends become such huge parts of of lives its so hard to say goodbye. I also have a dear old friend Walter my ginger boy who also sits with the birds happily, we always say he "Couldnt catch a cold never mind a bird!"
Im sure your beautiful Wednesday will always be cuddled up beside you .
Huge Aussie Hugs to you
D XX

Bobo Bun said...

Oh Steph - what a sad week. We've had to make the same hard, but right decisions three times over the last few years as our ladies hit old age and a poor little one had a road accident.

Thinking of you and hope you feel brighter as the days pass.

Big virtual hug to you.

Lisa x

Mountain Mom (Rachel) said...

Oh I tried not to cry. I even skipped a part of it. But it's no good, it's too sad. I am so sorry. I have only been through this end with one pet so far, my first dog, a Great Dane. He lived to be old and then came the end. I didn't want to bring him to the end too soon so I waited 3 days too long. They never do really leave you though. After the last memories fade, the stronger, younger memories return again.

oceans5 said...

I have lurked here a long time and I thought I should actually stop and post a comment for you today.I am so sorry for your loss. My mom and I lost a cat that was our bestfriend too and I know how much it hurts. You will always cherish the memories and the photos that you have. So sorry.:(

Julie said...

How sad. Poor kitty. I know what a difficult decision that is to make and how a cat can become your best friend. I'm sorry....

Deb said...

Hello Steph
So sad to read about your sweet Wednesday ...what a lovely post you've written today and wonderful story about how you found one another ♥

A Rose Without A Thorn said...

Well I am now sobbing away and I feel so sad for you and your loss. I also owned a wonderful cat called Ziggy and she would fetch a ball like a little dog. I was the only person she would come to when her named was called. She adored me and I can fully understand how sad you are. I am so pleased that Wednesday was blessed with you as her owner, it was meant to be, hugs, Maureen....

Esther said...

I never used to be a cat person but now I don't know how I'd go without at least one hanging around the house. We have two very loved members of the family, with their own distinct personalities, and I can't even think about the day when they mightn't be around anymore.
I feel your loss.

dottycookie said...

I am so sorry. Hugs to you and your boys at this very sad time.

Eileen said...

Oh Steph, how sad for you all. I really feel for you, but at least poor Wednesday is at peace now. Such a hard thing to do isn't it? Much love and hugs to you xx

Pipany said...

So sad Steph. My heart goes out to you. Take things as easy as you can and let the tears come my lovely. Thinking of you xx

sue15cat said...

So sorry to hear about Wednesday, (I had a friend with a cat called Tuesday,she was a special little thing).

It hurts so much to lose our little friends, but they're never gone completely she will live on in your happy memories and be with you when you think of her.

Take care.

Sue xx

Devon Dumpling said...

She sounds like she was a such a lovely little cat and I am pleased that she gave you such pleasure. I shall be thinking of you x

Fluitenkruid said...

I'm sorry for losing such a lovely animal. She will be with you in another way.
Love, Jannet

bellaboo said...

I was in tears reading your very sad post.I had to have my dog put down at the vets,and it was the saddest day of my life.She was,like your dear cat,the sweetest,gentlest,creature and such a loyal friend.She was a great age..16..and I know she had the best life,but the hole she leaves is enormous.Even though we now have another dog who we love dearly,she will never be able to replace her.I also had to take my Mum's cat to the vets,a gorgeous ginger tom and another much loved pet.
Take comfort that you gave her a wonderful life,and if you believe in animal Heaven,as I do,she will be there.

Bellaboo x

The Curious Cat said...

Oh! Tears well in my eyes as I read this. Poor little Wednesday and poor poor you! She looks so adorable and I really sympathise with you. We lost our little Boris last Christmas and he was such a wonderful, wonderful cat with so much to offer. You can read about him here: http://catofcuriosity.blogspot.com/2008/12/tribute-to-boris-tabby-cat.html Your Wednesday sounds quite a lot like him in some ways - especially with regards to the endless affection and joy she must have given you. I love how you describe how she came to meet you and snuggling up at the foot of the bed. Cats are truly wonderful creatures aren't they? No one will ever persuade me to think otherwise. They are such good companionship. At least Wednesday is not suffering anymore and you still have your memories and if cats could read blogs from heaven I know she would appreciate your tribute and want to say something special back about you and how you looked after her and cared for her. Big hugs to you and all my love xxxx

Tabiboo said...

Oh Steph, I am ever so sorry it is not only heart breaking, but wrenching as well to lose not only such a beloved pet, but a dear friend as well.

Lots and lots of love and hugs,

Nina x

mollycupcakes said...

Dearest Steph,
I'm sitting here crying at that beautiful heartfelt post for the much loved and missed Weds.
It's been 2 years this November that I lost my cat and best friend Ronnie/Dougal and it still hurts like it was yesterday. They come in to ours lifes and leave such an impression, one that stays with us forever. Just hold on to all the lovely memories and as time goes on, it will get better. That is what everyone keeps telling me.
I must admit even now i still find myself looking for him, bouncing along when i open a packet of prawns or pork scratching lol he could hear them both from miles away lol
Even though we have Tom and Megan, there is nothing that can replace your own cat, but tom gives it a really good go, licking me and snuggling up on the sofa.
So sorry for your loss honey.
Big big hugs for you all.
Catherine x

Sandie said...

What a beautifully written tribute.

Pixiedust said...

I'm so sorry to hear your news, I'm blubbering here too. I love all my animals and its heart wrenching when we lose one of our dear friends. Sounds like Wednesday had a long and happy life, and I'm sure shes watching you all in Kitty Heaven. (((((BIG HUGS))))) Pixie xxxx

Blueberry Heart said...

so sorry to read of your loss. I hope that you all at no 25 are ok. I know that the gap left by adored pets is just too huge.
hugs to you all

bh x

fitty's pinky rose cottage said...

I am sorry to hear about your lost. Not to worry he is happy now in cat's heaven.. she will always looking down at you and be your guardian angel..

hugs to you

Suzy's Vintage Attic said...

Oh I am so very sorry to read about wednesday's death. I feel so sad for you as I have experienced how painful it is. Last summer our 16 year old cat Pixie had to be put down, all 3 of us were devastated. Such a terrible void afterwards. I have had cats ever since I was a child and have sadly lost ab few over the years. I remember & think of each and everyone of them. They are never forgotten.
Take care
Isabelle x

Sara said...

Reading this post has made something in my heart feel very heavy indeed.
I am so sorry Steph. Wednesday sounds like the best companion a girl could have, and I've no doubt she misses you as much as you miss her.
I am totally convinced that our lost pets visit us in our sleep. One night soon, when you're least expecting it, you'll find yourself snuggling up to her like the old days in a strangely vivid dream.
I still see my old cat Simon this way, when he can make the trip. Next time he does I'll tell him to share his catnip with Wednesday xxx

Lucy said...

I am so sorry to read about the loss of your dear cat. I can understand what a sad time it is for you.
Take care
XLucy

Jane said...

Oh I know what you are going through. The ache. The guilt. The tears. But they do subside in time.
I'm sending love and hugs to you all but an extra squeeze to you Steph,
Jane
XXXX

alison young said...

so sad and sorry for you.we have been through the same thing many times with our large menagerie,and it never gets any easier.rest assured you gave her a lovely life x

retrorose said...

So sorry to read this. I cried too! I know some of what you are saying as we lost my 13 year old cat (Freud) a few years ago, and it was just horrible. Except we don't know what happened to her. They just become such a part of our automatic responses and expectations. We don't realise that we expect them to sit beside us, or that we expect to see them in the garden, until they are gone.
I have lost a lot of cats in my time and although I feel guilty, the ache to get another one starts almost immediately, I just miss them so much.
My thoughts are with you Steph.

driftwood said...

so sad for you xxx

French Knots said...

Oh, so sad. It's really hard to get used to them not being around.
Sending my love.xx

Janet Happy Girl said...

I so know how you feel...I had to say goodbye to my kitty of 18 yrs old the day after Christmas. I will never forget my precious baby my friend.

Carol said...

What a very moving post and heartfelt tribute to a beautiful cat.
It is so very, very hard when our pets leave our lives but they stay in our hearts for ever.

sarah-jane down the lane said...

Oh Steph that is such very sad news about Wednesday,the loss one feels for a much loved family pet is so deep, Iknow what you mean about the hole that's left. I hope you are feeling better and she will be off somewhere tranquil smelling cat mint.....

Love Sarah x

Anonymous said...

What a darling little cat. Please don't be too sad. Animals are not here as long as we are so it is inevitable that we have to say goodbye. Remember how lucky you both were to have found each other and had lots of lovely time together. Celebrate her living and be glad that you gave her the best possible life - that's all any cat can ask for. Short of making her live for ever there is nothing that we can do. We know we will have to say goodbye which is heartbreaking I know. You will feel better bit by bit, but it takes time. We can make their time with us pleasurable and happy and this is what you did. She was a happy cat and a loved cat. What a perfect life! Remember her with a smile and know how wonderful it was that you got to know each other. You knew too when to let her go. You were not selfish. That is the loving and the right thing to do.

I know you will miss her, I have had furbies all my life. When the time comes - not for a few months or so, that empty place can be taken up with another addtion to your home that will need, love, care and you. No animal ever replaces another - they find their own way into our hearts. I have dearly loved and lost a few cats and I am glad to have known each and every one. I lost probably my favourite ever cat (and I do not admit to having favorites) a couple of years ago. I now have a cat who came as the most delightful and innocent kitten. She is 2 now and pure joy. She looks like my other cat, but is so different and loved very much in her own right. I would never be without her now. But of course that will be up to you.

I hope you feel better soon, I wish you well at this sad time.
xxx

wildblue said...

I too know the pain of loosing a beloved pet. They become part of the family don't they? I hope that you feel better soon!

periwinkle said...

when hub and i first moved in together we had 5 cats , we;ve now only got 1 - i feel your pain -hugs

Garden Girl said...

Oh darling girl, I am so sorry to hear about your beautiful Kitty Cat. What a lovely post you wrote, really beautiful. Made me shed a tear when I read about her sitting by the bath and waiting for you at the station.
My lovely mad furry cat Monty disappeared three years ago and we haven't see him since. I have to console myself by thinking he is being snuggled by a little old lady somewhere who is feeding him king prawns instead of whiskas!
Take care of yourself lovely lady
xxx

Attic24 said...

Aww Steph, how terribly sad, i am choked with tears reading your post.
We lost out old lady a few years ago, she was also 14, and true they do leave such a big hole behind them. For many months I kept thinking I had seen or heard our cat coming into the room, I honestly felt she was still around.
Sending you huge hugs hun, hope your days get brighter very soon.
Love Lucexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Steph love I haven't posted on your blog before....But your recent loss has caused me to let you know I am here sending you warm cyber hugs from Australia....!!

I have my baby (puss) Baxter, sitting on the back of my chair purring in my ear as I type.....He has just turned 11 & I can't imagine
'letting him go'...I hope I can be as brave as you....Your 'little one' was very fortunate to have discovered you....!

Warm regards & hugs from 'Down Under',
Tamarah :o)

earthmotherwithin said...

We have an elderly cat-now 19! How we know the difficult decision -is she still having a good life -is my need for her more than her pain and suffering?

You know when they have had enough and it is an act of great love to say goodbye.

Thanks for sharing the memories

Aqeela said...

Youve never really mentioned Wednesday before so we didnt know her but i still felt really sad when i read this. She looks adorable, i love the photo of her lying down looking into the camera. I hope you are all feeling ok, make sure the next few weeks are spent sharing lots of cuddles as a family until it becomes a teeny bit easier to be without her.
Aqeela xx

Kali said...

May your precious Wednesday be resting peacefully in kitty heaven. What a wonderful and loyal friend!
I'm so sad and sorry for your loss :(
xo, Kali

lou said...

My thoughts are with you… I’m sending you a big (((hug)))

Love Lou xxx

prettyshabby said...

awwww how sad Steph, poor you.
What a lovely loyal cat she sounded and such a pretty girl too.
It's the day we all dread.

Thinking of you lots xxxxxxx

Simone said...

How very very sad. At least she had a good life and was loved by you. x

Sew Recycled said...

Oh that is so sad, what a lovely gorgeous cat she must have been. It took me years to get over my first cat, everytime I opened a tin of tuna I would turn around as if to put a bit in her bowl. Still miss her and its been 6 years!

We have moved on now and have a lovely cat called Jam Jam, matbe in time it will get easier.
Emx

Rosie said...

I know exactly how you feel, we lost Tabitha on Saturday. 16 years old, and it does feel very strange and lonely to walk in the kitchen and find she isn't there. But she's playing at the rainbow bridge now and not feeling any pain. x

Rosie said...

So sorry to hear about Wednesday - you have written so beautifully about her I had tears in my eyes reading - she was a wonderful friend to you and all your family and you will miss her so much - I know how you are feeling having had to come to the same decision as you over the years with three of ours. Take care, Steph and enjoy your happy memories.

Arthur Ransome said...

What a lovely tribute to a beautiful cat. From that first photograph, I'd say she was older than 14. I hope it might be some consolation to you to think that she had a longer life than 14 years, although the earlier ones were not with you.

Angela said...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved girl. It sounds like Wednesday was so sweet and gentle.

cathleen said...

She is a beautiful girl and I am so sorry she has left you. Your love for her is precious and sweet and I am sure she appreciates all the love you bestowed on her. Take care.

Lynne said...

Oh I am sorry to hear about Wednesday. What a lovely tribute you paid her. She does sound lovely and a real comfort to you when you needed her. It's always a big loss when they go.

Sweet Cinnamon Kisses said...

Wow! you have some beautiful & heartfelt comments of support here, so I feel they have all said what I wanted to say.... I feel for you as loosing a beloved pet is like loosing a close family member, the post had me in tears!
not just because I feel your loss and sadness but also because of the lovely words you used.
Godbless x